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The Best Biker Jokes

Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Harley Rider have been sitting in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a persevering with beeping sound.
The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager, “he stated, “I actually have a micro chip underneath the skin of my arm.”
A short time later a phone rang.
The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he completed he defined, “That became my cell smartphone. I have a micro chip in my hand.”
The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he determined he needed to do something just as magnificent. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He lower back with a piece of rest room paper placing from his butt.
The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him.
The Harley Rider eventually declared… “Well, will you examine that, I’m getting a fax!” – from THUNDER ROADS, Jan. 04

Quick, Funny Jokes!

funny jokes

A ten yr antique boy changed into strolling down the street while a huge guy on a black bike pulls up beside him and asks, “Hey kid, wanna move for a experience?”
” No!”, stated the boy, and he stored taking walks.
The motorcyclist pulls up to him once more and says “Hey kid, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on the back.”
” No!”, stated the boy and he proceeded down the road a touch faster.
The motorcyclist pulls as much as the boy again and says, “Ok youngster, I’ll give you $20 and a BIG bag of sweet if you hop at the returned for a experience.”
At this factor, the boy turns round to him and screams angrily, “Look Dad, YOU sold the Honda, so YOU journey it!”
– from WIDE OPEN’s 2004 Bike Show problem

Biker Jokes

The Best Biker Jokes

One for the guys:

A under the influence of alcohol biker is riding through the city and his bike is weaving violently throughout the road. An Irish cop pulls him over. The cop says to the biker, “Where have you ever been?” “I’ve been to the pub,” slurs the biker. “Well,” says the cop, “It looks as if you have had pretty some.” “I did all proper,” the biker says with a smile. “Did you realize,” says the cop, status instantly and folding his hands, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell off the motorbike?” “Oh, thank heavens” sighs the biker. “For a minute there, I thought I’d long gone deaf.”

One for the ladies:

This biker lady has a heart attack and is taken to the health center. While at the operating table, she had a near loss of life experience. Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you’ve got any other 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to stay.”
Upon recuperation, the female decided to stay in the hospital and feature a facelift, liposuction, and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, new roads to experience, she figured she may as properly appearance even nicer.
After her final operation, she changed into released from the medical institution. While riding her motorbike home, she turned into run into by means of a shipping truck and killed. Arriving in the front of God, she demanded, “I concept you said I had any other forty+ years? How come you did not pull me out of the path of that freakin’ truck?”
God replied, “I failed to understand you.”

A mechanic changed into removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle while he noticed a famous coronary heart physician in his shop. The medical professional became waiting for the carrier manager to take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the storage, “Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?”
The surgeon, a piece surprised, walked over to the mechanic working at the bike. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his fingers on a rag and asked, “So Doc, have a look at this engine. I open its ‘heart’, take valves out, restore’em, placed’em lower back in; and after I finish, it works much like new…
So how come I get such a measly revenue and you get the without a doubt large dollars when you and I are doing basically the same form of work?” The healthcare professional paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic, “Try doing it with the engine running.”

QUESTEN AND ANSWER

Q: What do a Harley Davidson and a porcupine have in common?

A: They’ve both got pricks on the back

.Q: What’s the most dangerous part of a motorcycle?

A: The nut that connects the seat to the handlebar

Q: What does HOG stand for?
A: Heavyset Old Geezers

Q: Did you hear about the harley rider that broke his arm while playing golf?
A: He fell off the ball washer!

Q: What do you call a Harley that doesn’t leak oil?
A: Empty!

Q: How do you spot an Irish man in a car wash?
A: He’s the one on a motorbike.

Q: What’s the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?
A: The position of the dirt bag.

Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A: A Yamahahaha!

Q: What do you call a vicar on a motorcycle?
A: Rev

Q: Why do Harley owner dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.

Q: How do you confuse a Harley owner?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to piss in the corner.

Q: What do you get when you have 32 Harley owners in the same room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
A: They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

 

Q: What’s the happiest day in a Harley rider’s life?
A: When they discover that they can use Right Guard under their left arm.

Q: What’s the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover vacuum cleaner?
A: The Harley has room for two dirtbags on board.

Q: Where do you put money to hide it from a harley rider?
A: In the bathroom, under the soap.

Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a Harley funeral?
A: Garbage cans only have two handles!

Q: What is the most common accessory for Harleys?
A: A pick-up truck

Q: What’s the smallest room in the world?
A: The Harley Davidson Hall of Fame.

Q: How do you break a Harley owner’s finger?
A: Kick him in the butt.

Q: Why do harley riders never ride faster than 50mph?
A: Any faster and they can’t see where the parts fell off.

Q: Why do harley riders chrome all their parts?
A: It makes them easier to spot on the side of the road.

Q: Did you hear about the Harley owner who put Odor Eaters in his new riding boots?
A: Two days later, he disappeared.

Q: How do you get a Harley owner out of the bath tub?
A: Throw in a bar of soap and get out of the way.

Q: What do you do if a Hell’s Angel throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back!

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